Please, help make this stop. If you know anyone in high school, kids, friends, relatives, whatever, please, please, please reach out. It's not just the gay kids that are hurt by bullying, but it's the ones that are, or are even just perceived as gay that get it the worst. High school is hard enough to begin with, don't let someone you know feel alone in surviving it.
I just kind of barreled through this. I did not proofread it. I feel vaguely confident in my grammar and sure in my spelling, somewhat confident in my typing and heartbroken and depressed over having to write this, of having to hear these things, having known what these kids went through and how bad it must have been to bring them to the point they got to. This is not something that should ever happen. This is not something we should allow to happen in our homes, our schools or in our country. This is wrong. This is un-American. This is not who we, as a country, are supposed to be. Please, please, if you have any heart, any opportunity to do something for any kid, please take it. Please do not have them be a name on this list that is by no means comprehensive, just the most readily available.
Raymond Chase - 19
Tyler Clementi - 18
Seth Walsh - 13
Asher Brown - 13
Billy Lucas - 15
Cody Barker - 17
Justin Aaberg - 15
Bullying is an awful, disgusting disease that we've always been burdened with. I've been there, lived through it. I can't say that I ever had it as bad as these kids, but it was awful. I've spent so much of my life being the worst insult my classmates had. There was nothing worse, nothing more disgusting than me. This is how I spent my school career. Being the insult. I was the kid that was ignored in middle school and high school except when they wanted to know how many books I read, or the answers to something. I was the insult they used but did not know I was. An insult that was heard constantly, but never knowingly directed at me. I was the kid in elementary who took the place of cooties, that took the place of the boy-girl rivalry. It was me, and them. I was less. I have always been made to feel less outside of my home. I am still trying to find who I am. I am still trying to realize that I am equal. Because I am equal. I am worth as much as any of you are. I always have been.
When you have kid after kid, year after year, school after school telling you that you are less, that you are the most disgusting thing there is, that you are the worst insult they know, you kind of start to believe it. I spent more time not wanting to exist than I ever did wanting to be dead, but I've spent more time wanting to be dead than anyone should ever, ever want to. The world is rough, and it is ugly, and it does not seem to be getting prettier, but your life will. It does get better. It will get better. Everything always works out in the end.
These are just 7 kids that we know of in the last few months. There are many, many more that we have not heard of. Maybe because of the region, or maybe the family still hides it, or maybe because there was no evidence. This is not a complete list. This list will grow. It shouldn't. It shouldn't exist in the first place. Each new name will be added. This is not a disease. This is not a choice. This is not a reason to be, not a reason to die. It is who we are. It is who you are. It is who I am. We are human, fallible, and vulnerable. We allow ourselves to be preyed upon, for whatever reasons. We listen to the bullies. We give in. We live in fear.
We watch our government condemn us to second class citizenry as it invades other countries to bring them freedom. To bring them freedom and equality. Things that we, as a nation, still lack. We have gone through slavery, women's rights, black civil rights and we have now arrived at gay civil rights. We still have not learned our lesson. We are perverting the words we use and have used and have been told to us more than we have ever done before.
We have let religion entire the equation too thoroughly. Be religious all you want. Worship how and who you will. You have that right. But your religion is not My government. You have every right to your religion. And I have every right to mine. I have every right to the same rights you have. Except I don't have access to them. I am not your equal. I have not ever been your equal. I wonder if I will ever be your equal. What reason is there that I am not your equal? What reasons are there to keep me from being as equal and as valid as you?
It is deeply saddening and enraging to see so many youths take their lives because of bullying, taunting and torment. It is almost as bad knowing the schools are not doing anything and the parents are almost powerless. They either do not know, or do not take their child out of the school. Yes, these parents fought for their kids. I know that. I am not saying they did not do enough. You can chart how often all of them went to bat for their child. There is no denying that these are devoted, loving, caring parents who have had to go through something no parents should ever have to go through. They had no other options available to them. Changing schools would not solve it, homeschooling would not solve it. One of the boys was taken from school and homeschooled. He faced the same problem, he just didn't endure it all day at school and all day outside of school. He was only safe in his home. What sort of life is that? How many kids have that life? How many kids are we letting get harmed and hurt and humiliated and devastated? How many lives are we letting get ruined? How many kids are we letting get away from us, either as bullies or as suicides?
This is ridiculous. In this day and age, we should not be tormenting. We should not have to fight and argue and be drug through the mud in order to have equal rights. We should not have to point to all of the reasons we need and are entitled to equal rights. We should not be run by corporations or by greed, or by religion. This is a secular nation with separation of church and state. This is a nation that claims to be the Land of Liberty and Justice. Where is my liberty? Where is their justice? Where is our "fierce advocate?" Where is our repeal of discriminatory laws, where are our equal rights? At the end of today, all we have in our hands are empty promises and dead children. We are not equal. Our government does not see as equal and our politicians do not fight to include us. No wonder these kids feel lost. They are tormented and teased, made to feel worse than the scum in a sewer, physically, mentally and emotionally harassed. They cannot look to their teachers, their school, their government for help or equality. They are not equal. They are not equal in school, in life or in government. They are less. They are told they are less by bullies, by the administrators that do nothing and by the government who withholds their rights from them because. I don't know why because. I don't know why our government is not letting us be equal. Our government sees fit to invade other countries, to lambast them for their lack of equality. I need two hands to count off the countries who have gay marriage before us. Some are more Catholic than we are, more conservative. And still, they recognize that equality is equality.
We are not equal. We are dying because we are not equal. We are the insult, we are the evil in this world. Look at Fred Phelps, look at any number of Republicans or Tea Party members. Hell, you can even look at some Democrats. We are not equal. We aren't even separate. Separate, by the way, is still not equal. We are not even allowed the leaky fountain down the hall. Obama says he is our fierce advocate. He is allowing us to be kicked out of the military we love and try to serve in. He is denying us the right to marry those we love, to enjoy the benefits, drawbacks, pain and pleasure he enjoys. The painful irony of the first black president standing in the way of civil rights is not lost on me. He is not even allowing us the leaky fountain down the hall. He professes to approve of civil unions. Civil Unions my ass. They are not the same. They are not equal. We have gone through the separate but equal bullshit already. We should know better. We should be better. Maybe if we were better, these kids would not be dead.
But they are dead. And nothing will ever change that. They are dead forever. They are gone because they were gay, or even just perceived as gay. It didn't even matter to the bullies. It didn't matter. They didn't matter. They were not equal. They weren't real people. They were less. This is not a choice. This is how we are born. There are millions of people around the world who are not straight. The vast majority of them would not choose this. This is what they are. This is what they will always, always be. They can lie. They can choose to live a lie, or they could choose to be who they are. They must fight and they must live with the knowledge that they are viewed as less, by others and by their government. They must live with the knowledge that being out could cost them their friends, their family, their jobs, even their lives. This is the world we live in. This is our "free and equal" nation. This is our life. This is our struggle.
Please, please, whether you agree with me on my politics or not, please do whatever you can to make these needless suicides go away. I'm not asking you to advocate for gay marriage, I'm not asking you to be politically active. I'm asking you to be a good person, a good citizen, a good relative, a good friend, a good acquaintance. Please, just offer a hand to someone, a kid, an adult, anyone. It will mean the world, and could mean a life. It could mean more than one life. It isn't that hard. Just be supportive. Just ask how they are and show you care. Let them know that you want them around, that they matter and are important. Because they are, and they are missed so much more than they probably thought they would be. They should not be dead. They should never have gotten to the point of thinking it would be better to be dead. High school sucks. In Buffy, it was hell. Here, in the real world we live in, it is hell for some people. High school isn't supposed to be hell, it isn't supposed to kill, yet it is. It is. And we can stop it. We can fight it. We need to. We owe it to these boys, to all the people in the past and all the people in the present and all the people in the future to fight it. To be better, to be equal. Allow me to be your equal. I have been waiting so, so long. Others have been waiting even longer. Don't make my kids wait. Don't let more kids die over this.
I just kind of barreled through this. I did not proofread it. I feel vaguely confident in my grammar and sure in my spelling, somewhat confident in my typing and heartbroken and depressed over having to write this, of having to hear these things, having known what these kids went through and how bad it must have been to bring them to the point they got to. This is not something that should ever happen. This is not something we should allow to happen in our homes, our schools or in our country. This is wrong. This is un-American. This is not who we, as a country, are supposed to be. Please, please, if you have any heart, any opportunity to do something for any kid, please take it. Please do not have them be a name on this list that is by no means comprehensive, just the most readily available.
Raymond Chase - 19
Tyler Clementi - 18
Seth Walsh - 13
Asher Brown - 13
Billy Lucas - 15
Cody Barker - 17
Justin Aaberg - 15
Bullying is an awful, disgusting disease that we've always been burdened with. I've been there, lived through it. I can't say that I ever had it as bad as these kids, but it was awful. I've spent so much of my life being the worst insult my classmates had. There was nothing worse, nothing more disgusting than me. This is how I spent my school career. Being the insult. I was the kid that was ignored in middle school and high school except when they wanted to know how many books I read, or the answers to something. I was the insult they used but did not know I was. An insult that was heard constantly, but never knowingly directed at me. I was the kid in elementary who took the place of cooties, that took the place of the boy-girl rivalry. It was me, and them. I was less. I have always been made to feel less outside of my home. I am still trying to find who I am. I am still trying to realize that I am equal. Because I am equal. I am worth as much as any of you are. I always have been.
When you have kid after kid, year after year, school after school telling you that you are less, that you are the most disgusting thing there is, that you are the worst insult they know, you kind of start to believe it. I spent more time not wanting to exist than I ever did wanting to be dead, but I've spent more time wanting to be dead than anyone should ever, ever want to. The world is rough, and it is ugly, and it does not seem to be getting prettier, but your life will. It does get better. It will get better. Everything always works out in the end.
These are just 7 kids that we know of in the last few months. There are many, many more that we have not heard of. Maybe because of the region, or maybe the family still hides it, or maybe because there was no evidence. This is not a complete list. This list will grow. It shouldn't. It shouldn't exist in the first place. Each new name will be added. This is not a disease. This is not a choice. This is not a reason to be, not a reason to die. It is who we are. It is who you are. It is who I am. We are human, fallible, and vulnerable. We allow ourselves to be preyed upon, for whatever reasons. We listen to the bullies. We give in. We live in fear.
We watch our government condemn us to second class citizenry as it invades other countries to bring them freedom. To bring them freedom and equality. Things that we, as a nation, still lack. We have gone through slavery, women's rights, black civil rights and we have now arrived at gay civil rights. We still have not learned our lesson. We are perverting the words we use and have used and have been told to us more than we have ever done before.
We have let religion entire the equation too thoroughly. Be religious all you want. Worship how and who you will. You have that right. But your religion is not My government. You have every right to your religion. And I have every right to mine. I have every right to the same rights you have. Except I don't have access to them. I am not your equal. I have not ever been your equal. I wonder if I will ever be your equal. What reason is there that I am not your equal? What reasons are there to keep me from being as equal and as valid as you?
It is deeply saddening and enraging to see so many youths take their lives because of bullying, taunting and torment. It is almost as bad knowing the schools are not doing anything and the parents are almost powerless. They either do not know, or do not take their child out of the school. Yes, these parents fought for their kids. I know that. I am not saying they did not do enough. You can chart how often all of them went to bat for their child. There is no denying that these are devoted, loving, caring parents who have had to go through something no parents should ever have to go through. They had no other options available to them. Changing schools would not solve it, homeschooling would not solve it. One of the boys was taken from school and homeschooled. He faced the same problem, he just didn't endure it all day at school and all day outside of school. He was only safe in his home. What sort of life is that? How many kids have that life? How many kids are we letting get harmed and hurt and humiliated and devastated? How many lives are we letting get ruined? How many kids are we letting get away from us, either as bullies or as suicides?
This is ridiculous. In this day and age, we should not be tormenting. We should not have to fight and argue and be drug through the mud in order to have equal rights. We should not have to point to all of the reasons we need and are entitled to equal rights. We should not be run by corporations or by greed, or by religion. This is a secular nation with separation of church and state. This is a nation that claims to be the Land of Liberty and Justice. Where is my liberty? Where is their justice? Where is our "fierce advocate?" Where is our repeal of discriminatory laws, where are our equal rights? At the end of today, all we have in our hands are empty promises and dead children. We are not equal. Our government does not see as equal and our politicians do not fight to include us. No wonder these kids feel lost. They are tormented and teased, made to feel worse than the scum in a sewer, physically, mentally and emotionally harassed. They cannot look to their teachers, their school, their government for help or equality. They are not equal. They are not equal in school, in life or in government. They are less. They are told they are less by bullies, by the administrators that do nothing and by the government who withholds their rights from them because. I don't know why because. I don't know why our government is not letting us be equal. Our government sees fit to invade other countries, to lambast them for their lack of equality. I need two hands to count off the countries who have gay marriage before us. Some are more Catholic than we are, more conservative. And still, they recognize that equality is equality.
We are not equal. We are dying because we are not equal. We are the insult, we are the evil in this world. Look at Fred Phelps, look at any number of Republicans or Tea Party members. Hell, you can even look at some Democrats. We are not equal. We aren't even separate. Separate, by the way, is still not equal. We are not even allowed the leaky fountain down the hall. Obama says he is our fierce advocate. He is allowing us to be kicked out of the military we love and try to serve in. He is denying us the right to marry those we love, to enjoy the benefits, drawbacks, pain and pleasure he enjoys. The painful irony of the first black president standing in the way of civil rights is not lost on me. He is not even allowing us the leaky fountain down the hall. He professes to approve of civil unions. Civil Unions my ass. They are not the same. They are not equal. We have gone through the separate but equal bullshit already. We should know better. We should be better. Maybe if we were better, these kids would not be dead.
But they are dead. And nothing will ever change that. They are dead forever. They are gone because they were gay, or even just perceived as gay. It didn't even matter to the bullies. It didn't matter. They didn't matter. They were not equal. They weren't real people. They were less. This is not a choice. This is how we are born. There are millions of people around the world who are not straight. The vast majority of them would not choose this. This is what they are. This is what they will always, always be. They can lie. They can choose to live a lie, or they could choose to be who they are. They must fight and they must live with the knowledge that they are viewed as less, by others and by their government. They must live with the knowledge that being out could cost them their friends, their family, their jobs, even their lives. This is the world we live in. This is our "free and equal" nation. This is our life. This is our struggle.
Please, please, whether you agree with me on my politics or not, please do whatever you can to make these needless suicides go away. I'm not asking you to advocate for gay marriage, I'm not asking you to be politically active. I'm asking you to be a good person, a good citizen, a good relative, a good friend, a good acquaintance. Please, just offer a hand to someone, a kid, an adult, anyone. It will mean the world, and could mean a life. It could mean more than one life. It isn't that hard. Just be supportive. Just ask how they are and show you care. Let them know that you want them around, that they matter and are important. Because they are, and they are missed so much more than they probably thought they would be. They should not be dead. They should never have gotten to the point of thinking it would be better to be dead. High school sucks. In Buffy, it was hell. Here, in the real world we live in, it is hell for some people. High school isn't supposed to be hell, it isn't supposed to kill, yet it is. It is. And we can stop it. We can fight it. We need to. We owe it to these boys, to all the people in the past and all the people in the present and all the people in the future to fight it. To be better, to be equal. Allow me to be your equal. I have been waiting so, so long. Others have been waiting even longer. Don't make my kids wait. Don't let more kids die over this.
